Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A New Beginning

I've started my fair share of blogs. Nothing obsessive or overly regular. But I've had a few. And I have had a few tries at social medial.

I am on Facebook of course, most people are. I think in time Facebook will be a ubiquitous as having a phone number. I think it will just be a part of how we communicate.

Other forms of social media have worked for a while for me, then gradually the luster wears off. The fact that I at times find myself associating with people I may not in real life can be awesome. Or it may be completely horrible. I am by nature a private person, I am sometimes described as grumpy, curmudgeonly and crusty. And I doubt I would argue with any of that. But I also have a personal and moral code. And it's pretty simple "Live as you wish, do as you wish, I have no more right to dictate your life than you do mine. But if I cannot agree with what you are doing I will not participate in it. I can't really tell you not to do or be something, but I'll not condone it by my silent presence."

Often social media asks that of us I think. That we condone through silence. In real life if a woman flashed her breasts at me three or four times a day I'd most certainly tell her to get away from me, it's not only disrespectful of me. It's disrespectful of herself. Using sexuality in that way often speaks to me of a woman (because it's almost always females who do it) who has been subtly and subconsciously told that her only value is her sex. And it bothers me to participate in that form of self-exploitation.

Or a person with responsibilities, children and people who rely on them who act selfishly. Or carelessly, this can be drug or alcohol use (I recently silently watched as a nurse I was acquainted with through social media boast about drug use and partying, she worked at a children's hospital and had a child of her own, this was deeply disturbing) or I have seen single mothers more concerned with their social lives and the guy they were chasing than the well-being of their children. I have seen people with jobs that require skill and safety drink and drug nightly and return to their employment. And I have watch numerous people go through break-ups and never understand or care to even look at their own participation in the break up. Sometimes the fall is one sided, but more often or not, it's an equal share of fuckery.

And then there's the role playing, prima-donnas and wannabes. The pseudo-philosophers who couldn't find their asses with a amp and a compass but they always have some "deep and meaningful" words for other people. The dainty divas who want you to think they billow and flutter in the lilac breeze, but they're just flaky. The people who "want to tell it like it is" but in real life wouldn't make a peep. And then there's just the people that are fucked up and plainly delusional. Who have no idea why the world doesn't see them like they want, but online they'll tell you exactly what they want you to see and hope you buy into to it too. And these ones don't understand why their imaginary lives never become real.

I certainly met some awesome folks too. People I'd love to hang out with, drink beer and BBQ. People who could throw verbal jabs and laugh. People who are not sitting there with a marker and a blank protest sign just waiting for something to be pissed off about. People who are good salt of the earth types who would give you the time and shirt off their back if you needed it. Real folk. People who've gotten their licks and know what it's like (paraphrasing Everlast is a high water mark in my life). I like and even love them.

But it's dawned on me that social media is not really for me. A blog of this nature works. But spending day in and day out participating in something that makes me frustrated, angry and even bordering on losing my temper. Just isn't for me anymore. Wanting to scream "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU DUMB FUCKING FUCK?" is not a good way to spend my time.

So this blog is my commitment to a Bukowski-esque digital presence. I can share as much as I like, but I am just not good with participation. Maybe I am an introvert, maybe I am weird, maybe I am damaged. But it is what is. You learn that as you get older. Acceptance. And man I'm old.

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